July 2018: Getting to grips with Twitter

I love the sound of this title: hey, folks, I’m getting to grips with Twitter! Until a few weeks ago, I was a Twitter virgin and now, thanks to a tutorial from my daughter, Rosie, I can tweet and re-tweet and like and put up photos, and , yes, I am getting to grips with Twitter in the same way that on the only occasion in my life when I (temporarily) caught a fish, I got to grips with an unbelievably slimy and slippery mackerel.

Here is what I’ve learnt about Twitter:

1: I still don’t quite understand the concept of hashtags. However, it’s undoubtedly true that #DebbyHolt sounds far more important than Debby Holt does.

2: It is quite enjoyable but undeniably time-consuming trying to fit my thought for the day into 240 characters. I spend far too long trying to decide whether to delete a “very” or a “rather”.

3: On Twitter, journalists opine and comedians are funny. I’m still not sure what authors are supposed to bring to the table. We can’t keep talking about our working day. “Spent twenty minutes this morning watching cars drive past my window…” doesn’t quite work.

4: It’s great when a tweet gets a response. Hard to believe, I know, but some of my tweets do not, and then I feel like a guest at a terrifying party where everyone but me is being quite fascinating while I stand by a rubber plant in the corner and smile vaguely at the wallpaper.

5: Wouldn’t Oscar Wilde have been brilliant at this?

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